I found the quote above during my first pregnancy and framed it for the nursery in the months before our twins arrived. By Maureen Hawkins, it read:
"Before you were conceived, I wanted you.
Before you were born, I loved you.
Before you were an hour old, I would die for you.
This is the miracle of love."
If you're reading this and you're a mom yourself, I'm sure you find truth in that statement. I don't know that I understood the depths of love until I gave birth and truly before I heard either of them take their first breath, I surely would have died for either or both. I remember making that very bargain during their harried delivery. It's a love without end and one I look forward to extending to my children's children in a decade or so.
Motherhood is complicated. I've often said its the toughest job you'll never get paid for...monetarily speaking that is. It requires great sacrifice and often little recognition for how hard moms work, both inside and outside the home, of what they give up in order to become a mother...their work, their identity, their body,...as long as that list may be, its truly is a blessing to mother a child. We all make those sacrifices willingly and repeatedly in order to be a mom.
Motherhood is complicated, as are some of our relationships with our own mothers. The older I get, the longer I mother, the more I think I am only just beginning to understand my own mom. I wish she was still here so we could talk about that, talk about anything really. I still, nearly one year later, think of calling her, of telling her something specific, of telling her nothing, just to check in. There is no cure for grief, not even time for it truly is the price we pay for having truly loved.
Someone in our neighborhood Facebook group recently asked for ideas about Mother's Day gifts. Here's my response to the query:
"This will be my first Mother's Day without a mom and I have to tell you in this past year of profound grief I find myself making lists in my head of all the things she did for our family growing up and how appreciative I am (and always was) but {am} scared now that I never told her enough. So my answer would be write her a letter, telling her how thankful you are for her, for what she did/does as a mom but for who she was/is as a person who had a life before you (or your kids) were born. Remind her of ways you see her and her influence in yourself and how you parent your own kids (if you have them) and that even after she's gone, part of her will remain on in you and in your own kids. I personally think she would treasure that letter more than any gift you could ever buy her."
Mother's Day is coming up this Sunday so be sure and call, write a letter, go visit, take a gift...do something, do all of the above or there are some other free ideas below. Even if your relationship with your mom is complicated or shaky in one way or another, always try and do the right thing. Take the high road if you can, for one day the road will end, until we all meet again. I promise you, you'll always be glad you did.
In case you're looking for tangible gift ideas for a special lady in your life, maybe its your mom, maybe its your sister, aunt or grandmother or a family friend, look no further than the round up below...and of course, remember to treat yourself!
Happy Mother's Day to each and every mom out there.
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